If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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