You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
