After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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