Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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