honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
