ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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