If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize