its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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