I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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