i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
