Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
