..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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