Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

tell your sister to shave her snatch

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(720): View more from Colorado

I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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(305): View more from Florida

i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

(1-305): View more from Florida

lets call myth busters

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(909): View more from California

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I will never swim in a flooded basement again..

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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(815): View more from Illinois

We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...

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(909): View more from California

Crop dusting thru forever 21

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