TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
