I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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