She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
