I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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