piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
