Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
