Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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