let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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