Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
