so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
