i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
