I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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