We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
