What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
