It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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