I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
