when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
