We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
