I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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