based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize