I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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