The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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