So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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