Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am available for nakedness
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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