There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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