should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
