Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
