I bet he comes in French.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
