well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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