If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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