He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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