I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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