i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
