the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
