i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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