We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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