it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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