so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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