you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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