he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize