Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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